More on Etisalat

Charlie, a Friend of the Blog and Reporter of Interesting Things, wrangled a good story into the paper this morning about the customer service issues of what is essentially the only Internet service provider in the UAE.

It mostly focuses on long waits--which I have witnessed with mine own eyes--and the company's PR people say all the right things, but there is a lot more going on than just massive queues. In many ways, it's emblematic of how customer service is really kind of an afterthought in this part of the world, five-star hotels aside.

It's a matter of attitude. If a customer faces a counterintuitive situation (for instance, is told that an account change can't be made over the phone, even though the exact same change was done, over the phone, a week earlier), explain it. Don't just say "It is not possible, sir."

If a customer (or millions of customers) face service outages, don't pretend that all is well. Admitting a problem is, I'm told, the first step toward recovery.

If a customer has a problem that should be easily solved, but isn't, try this novel approach: apologize. (alternatively, take a logical approach to solving it. I'm thinking mostly of a problem that struck the Guy [still] Sitting Next to Me, in which he had a week-long running battle of phone calls and e-mails simply to find out if his building had been wired with high-speed fiber optic cable. Etisalat's solution was to ask him to figure it out.)

And, most obviously, don't upload spyware and pretend it is a patch.

It all adds up to a big bundle of overpriced annoyance. Unfortunately, there isn't anyplace else to turn. And so I hope that when I head over there tonight, to upgrade our service in person because they won't do it over the phone, it will be a smooth, quick and comfortable experience.

I also hope I can ride home on a gold-plated unicorn.