Sunday, December 23, 2007

The older they are, the... uh....

I'm not sure how to finish that sentence. Bloodier they shoot? Snarlier they mumble? Mulletier they mullet? Maybe you should tell me: What cliche bests describes an 82-year-old Sylvester Stallone hopping back into his headband as John Rambo?

But leaving his age aside (which I think is only fair, given the number of octogenerians who could marathon me into oblivion), who is left for Mr. Rambo to brutalize? As my friend Nikkos put it, there were really only two options: The Mexicans or the Terrorans.

But no, it's actually (DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK IF SPECIAL-EFFECTS BULLET WOUNDS MAKE YOU NAUSEATED) the Burmese--er, Myanmarese?--army. On the one hand, you haven't seen them much in the headlines lately. On the other hand, they seem to meet the 21st Century's ridiculously high bar for being horrible people.

So there you have it. An aging, principled and apparently still lethal John Rambo takes on human rights abusers. And you know what?

I think I'm gonna see it. Who's with me?