An Actual Conversation with an Employee of the Mardi Gras Bar, Starring: Me

I swear I only go to this place once every six or eight weeks. But the ground-floor bar of the Capital Hotel (home of the best booze-allowed Indian restaurant in town) has karaoke, and they are quite aggressive about getting people in. Once when I was there with a bunch of people, several of us were asked at the end of the night to give the manager our names and phone numbers to be in a karaoke contest the next week.

Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time. But the result is that every Wednesday, I get a call from Mardi Gras. Last night's installment went a little something like this:

ME
Hello?

MARDI GRAS
Hello, sir. Mr. Matthew?

ME
Yes?

MG
It is the Mardi Gras bar, sir.

ME
Oh. How are you?

MG
Fine, sir. Calling to remind you that karaoke is tonight.

ME
OK. Thank you.

MG
Will you be coming, sir?

ME
Uh... I'm not sure. Sill making plans.

[this is a blatant lie. I was running errands when she called and had no time for frivolity, let alone karaoke. -ed.]

MG
You have other plans, sir?

ME
I haven't decided yet.

MG
May I ask why you are not coming, sir?

ME
I didn't say I--look, I don't know whether I'm coming. I might be doing other things.

[at this point, I'm not sure why I didn't just tell the truth. but whatever, the truth would clearly have hurt, based on the rest of our conversation. -ed.]

MG
You are working?

ME
No! I might be doing other things. Maybe dinner. Maybe meeting friends. Maybe nothing.

MG
So... you will come if you are able?

ME
(sigh) Um, sure. Yes, fine.

MG
OK, see you tonight, sir. Thank you, sir.

And that was that. Someone had obviously told her not to take no for an answer, and the result was that I, for the first time in my life, had to justify my lack of social plans to... a bar.