Things that happen in Abu Dhabi

You stumble across one of Mrs Blog's favorite (or favourite, if you're British) bands playing a free concert on the beach. Yep, The Beat (or The English Beat, if you're American) landed on our shores as part of the massive F1 race festivities. We aren't exactly sure how many of the original members were actually onstage for the couple of songs we caught, but we did ID Ranking Roger.

Very-shaky-cam footage.

Between sets, the crowd got down to dance music. A bit more enthusiastically than they did to the band, actually, if we're being honest with ourselves. The kids were out, and they were waving their hands in the air in a manner that suggested they did not, in fact, care.

Laser beams make dancing fun!

There may yet be more concert footage coming. Lots of musical folks in town for the race, and we have a shiny new high-def handheld video camera thanks to some dear Friends of the Blog. I'll try to hold it more steady next time.

You know what really sucks?

Not having a car in the UAE. Yes, we unloaded the Audi--she is now making daily trips between Abu Dhabi and Dubai as the primary commuting vehicle of a co-worker--which means we are on our own for transport around the city.

Now, taxis are cheap. You can get from one end of the island to the other, 20 kilometers or so, for about $8. The same ride in Chicago would cost $30, easily. But they are not always convenient. For instance, if you don't know exactly where you're going, including several nearby landmarks, you're out of luck unless the cab driver is experienced and speaks good English.

Or if you want to just go somewhere non-specific, i.e., "Let's go find a cup of coffee," you're forced to decide on a destination before you head out the door. It takes a lot of the fun and spontaneity out of random weekend drives. And of course road trips become a matter of either renting a car or, if you're going someplace like Dubai, just ponying up Dh250 ($68) for one-way taxi fare.

And that doesn't even count the inconvenience of ordinary errands if you don't live within walking distance of the places you're going. Fortunately, now that it's winter, foot travel is a little easier. So when Mrs Blog heads to the market (and by that I mean the nearest mall), she can hoof it over there through beautiful, scenic Tanker Mai and the greater Al Wahda neighborhood without breaking a sweat.

Getting the groceries back is another issue altogether, although at least the malls have regular taxi stands.

Anyway, the upshot of all of this is that:

1) Abu Dhabi is not a pedestrian-friendly city...

2) Taxis are cheap but not always convenient...

3) Re-adjusting to life here is always a bit of an exercise, but it's especially exhausting when you don't have wheels.

So shall we start a petition for the Municipality to start work on the Abu Dhabi Underground?

False flag?*

As a lover of thriller novels, science fiction and apocalyptic storylines, this tidbit out of California caught my attention: what appeared to be a missile trail heading into space off the coast. Missiles aren't just launched willy nilly. Especially not missiles carrying large thermonuclear packages.

And most space launches are made from the East Coast, which allows the Earth's rotational velocity to aid the booster and makes sure debris lands harmlessly in the Atlantic.

So what is this?

The final countdown?

In the end, the generally accepted explanation was that it was a jet contrail seen from an odd angle, making it appear vertical instead of horizontal. I guess that works, physics-wise, but I still wonder why there appeared to be a glowing rocket motor at the tip of the smoke trail.

Here's an example of an actual contrail that looks like a missile launch...

Harmless, unless you're a high-flying bird.

... and here's what a real ICBM launch looks like... you can see that it does, in fact, move quite a bit faster than what was spotted in California.

The final countdown. (test-firing edition)

But if it is a missile, why are all the branches of the military, including U.S. Space Command, saying they know nothing about it? Could it be a vast conspiracy aimed at generating a hot new novel?

*is a great book title

Paradise City

Oh, hello. I didn't see you sitting there.

It has been a while. The last few weeks--almost a month, really--have been spent in North America, the land of awesome weddings, awesome beaches and awesome food.

Awesome beach, with awesome dog.

Now Mrs. Blog and I have returned to the UAE, the land of... well... awesome weather. At least this time of year.

There's no gentle way to put this, but it is never an easy transition. Abu Dhabi really is the land of a million daily paper cuts in a lot of ways. For Mrs. Blog, especially, it is a firehose of icy water blasting away the comforts of Southern California, where she has stayed the last few months. Now instead of playing fetch with our dog in the morning, she is faced with playing a game I like to call "catch a taxi and try to explain where you want to go without using an address." It's not fun, but can be rewarding.

But we need to be fair to Abu Dhabi here. This is the best time of year to be in the UAE--the temperatures are perfect, the humidity is almost zero and those qualities draw all the fun out of hibernation. Last night we went to Arts Abu Dhabi at the Emirates Palace Hotel and wandered (along with thousands of others) among masterworks by artists like Jeff Koons. Our favorite bit, though, was an "art sensation" labyrinth they had set up on the beach... complete with cocktails!

Then there's the F1 race this month. And a concert by Prince. And all of those things (combined with the great weather... did I mention that?) make the transition back from the land of pork and beer just a little less traumatic.

An Actual Conversation with an Employee of the Mardi Gras Bar, Starring: Me

I swear I only go to this place once every six or eight weeks. But the ground-floor bar of the Capital Hotel (home of the best booze-allowed Indian restaurant in town) has karaoke, and they are quite aggressive about getting people in. Once when I was there with a bunch of people, several of us were asked at the end of the night to give the manager our names and phone numbers to be in a karaoke contest the next week.

Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time. But the result is that every Wednesday, I get a call from Mardi Gras. Last night's installment went a little something like this:

ME
Hello?

MARDI GRAS
Hello, sir. Mr. Matthew?

ME
Yes?

MG
It is the Mardi Gras bar, sir.

ME
Oh. How are you?

MG
Fine, sir. Calling to remind you that karaoke is tonight.

ME
OK. Thank you.

MG
Will you be coming, sir?

ME
Uh... I'm not sure. Sill making plans.

[this is a blatant lie. I was running errands when she called and had no time for frivolity, let alone karaoke. -ed.]

MG
You have other plans, sir?

ME
I haven't decided yet.

MG
May I ask why you are not coming, sir?

ME
I didn't say I--look, I don't know whether I'm coming. I might be doing other things.

[at this point, I'm not sure why I didn't just tell the truth. but whatever, the truth would clearly have hurt, based on the rest of our conversation. -ed.]

MG
You are working?

ME
No! I might be doing other things. Maybe dinner. Maybe meeting friends. Maybe nothing.

MG
So... you will come if you are able?

ME
(sigh) Um, sure. Yes, fine.

MG
OK, see you tonight, sir. Thank you, sir.

And that was that. Someone had obviously told her not to take no for an answer, and the result was that I, for the first time in my life, had to justify my lack of social plans to... a bar.

This looks fun

Remind me again why I became a writer instead of a test pilot?

Humanity, we have glide-off.

Pretty sweet moment. I can't wait to see them light the fire on the back of SpaceShip One.

W@yn3 N3wt0n pwns

I have, on occasion, written about impressive video game commercials. Those examples struck me as more subtle, interesting and ultimately attractive than most of what you see on TV--most of which revolve around an overly simplistic "buy this and be cool" message.

Well, here's another one.

Poppin' space caps.

Funny, right? And it sort of plays up the idea that people playing video games online aren't dorks--they're rap stars. (and nerdy movie stars) I don't have this game yet--thanks, PAL formatting in the Middle East!--but when I do I'll be expecting a marching band on my doorstep the first time I jump online.