A swift kick in the...

Why do Americans, people who normally have the finest taste in just about everything, hate soccer?

It doesn't make any sense. Soccer--or football, if your country A) doesn't have a president or B)does have a president, but his name isn't George Bush--should appeal to everyone. Whether you like strategy, fast-paced action, physical contact or just good-looking athletic types with strong legs, it's right there on the field. To wit:



Yet even though soccer is popular with the kids, most adults, the same people who gleefully wear cheese on their heads because... well... cheese comes from Wisconsin and so does Green Bay, are indifferent to the sport. If not outright hostile.

Is soccer too European? That can't be it--how else can you explain the popularity of hockey? Maybe there's not enough scoring... wait... no... everyone loves a no-hitter. It's not like we're talking about a difficult game to understand, either: Two teams, one ball and two goals into which it is kicked. Basically, if you don't use your hands, you're golden.

Yeah. I'm at a loss here as to why soccer is the red-headed stepchild of the American sports fan. "But Gerry," you say. "There are LOTS of things you don't understand. Why blog about soccer?" Well, the U.S. beat Panama today in a Gold Cup match, 2-1.

So there.